A few months ago, I noticed how many times a friend criticised what I said or did. She said sorry so many times but repeated harsh put-down comments that her sorries became meaningless to me.
I used to tell myself she was stressed. I kept forgiving her. Isn't that what friends do?
Medical experts at the Mayo Clinic claim "forgiveness is essential for mental health" It reduces anxiety and depression. So forgiveness is nonnegotiable. But I had to change.
I was taught from a young in church that if you said sorry, it means you have to make amends. It required a change in thinking to repair the relationship. It is called metanoia (aka repentance). It requires heart-centered thinking, and it's more than saying sorry. But I realised most of my life, I have over apologised. I never knew then but I know now. Being first to say sorry was for approval, acceptance, to be nice, and to avoid conflict. I minimised myself because of not...
The news screams out about deaths, injuries, and destruction to property in our cities from Rage, increasing our feelings of insecurity. We see Signs with Maintain the Rage. Daily we hear someone is outraged in social media posts which only incites more anger spreading widely and fast.
I remember the news footage of two women physically fighting each other for toilet paper at the beginning of the pandemic. But never did I imagine I would experience someone's Rage in a grocery store. It happened so suddenly; a middle-aged average-sized man started verbally abusing two women at the other end of the aisle. I was close enough to see his face getting redder, his blood vessels in his face bulging. I remember thinking "he looks like he is going to have a heart attack or stroke. His voice and manner were becoming more threatening, yet the women stayed put and argued. I could see this escalating into physical violence. One Security guard attended. I exited the shop with other shoppers as the...
“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” Henry David Thoreau’s quote is not a critic of humanity’s desperation. Instead, it is intended as a wake-up call to LIVE and FEEL FULLY ALIVE and to live with enjoyment, wonder, surprises, beauty, inspiration, love and divinity.
Yes, people are living in desperation from the ravages of war, poverty, disasters such as our recent bushfires, volcano eruptions, earthquakes, floods, drought, hunger and poverty. However, Thoreau is talking about desperation that comes from resignation. People resign their lives to mediocrity, of believing that this is how life is and will be, they resign themselves to not enjoying living because they feel unworthy, ashamed, or see no value in themselves. Yes, there are so many reasons it happens. But it means that some people resign themselves to low income, poor health and vitality and an unfulfilling...
I worked with Helen,* a skilled, competent, and high achiever. She worked hard and juggled numerous projects successfully, but she was tired, feeling stressed yet kept taking on more things to do. She told me all the goals she had but had so much to do and was running all day but not making any headway with personal goals. Helen was restless and said, "I don't have time to sit around and practise stillness or meditate. I don't even know what stillness is but I can't think of anything worse than silence and wasting time. I need to be busy, move, run."
So, I said Helen; I can see why you keep running to achieve your goals and get things done. May I ask you is there anything you are running away from? Helen was taken aback and came back with "I am not lazy, I have to be busy. I hate not doing anything." I noticed she did not answer the question.
I said constant distractions, noise, people to help, work and family responsibilities, shopping, social media, earphones...
Today I saw people with surgical masks walking around the vegetable aisle in my local supermarket. I found it an uncomfortable experience; even though, as a nurse, I am used to seeing staff in masks. However, this scene is not typical in Perth.
If I felt uncomfortable by people in masks in the supermarket, I wonder what children are thinking and feeling. They see and hear other anxious parents. Teachers and media. Their stress response kicks in. I know there is real and imagined fear with the Corona Virus (COVIID-19), Daily we see the news of panic buying resulting in empty shelves, media commentators sharing their opinions on what the government should be doing and are not doing. Listening incessantly or reading social media posts that increase anxiety suppresses immunity.
Even if children hear it will be okay; they will pick up anxiety if the parent/teacher or a trusted adult saying this, is not in a harmonious state with mind and...
The Image and video How Stress Weakens Your Immune System are from Dr Asky.com.
Watch this brilliant video that clearly shows how stress robs and destroys our health and quality of life. Click Here
Its time to build your immunity. Its time to GET SERIOUS ABOUT STRESS.
If you are in a busy and highly stressful job and facing relentless stress, seeing and hearing about contagious infections, relationships that worry you, chronic pain, illness or financial stress, take action before stress overwhelms you.
Feel Free to download a free resource that will show you how to reset when you are under stress and to increase your energy and inner calm at www.ruthlittler.com.au
You are also welcome to book a FREE strategy session and learn science validated stress transforming techniques that will help your body reset and bring your body into harmony and build your immunity. Click here.
One tiny decision can cause massive change. Get Serious!
The holidays are over and most people are working at a breakneck pace, meeting deadlines, juggling family responsibilities, long hours at work, taking work home and sometimes feeling intimidated or frightened of losing the job. Last year, I worked alongside a number of non-smokers who were optimum body weight yet were being treated for high blood pressure., they said they were stressed out. They were running as if they were being chased by a tiger all day, pumping out adrenaline and cortisol (stress hormone). They could not sleep at night as they were thinking about the work they had to do or haven't done. Only a couple of years ago, my colleague died from a heart attack which shook me to the core. This experience forced me to learn about the harmful effects of job stress. I now show people in demanding jobs how to reset and bring recovery to their body.
It's only February and two friends told me they could not keep up the pace with work and were...
Happy New Year everyone.
Mark Twain is right, Read the quote again. Yes! it's time to Reveal the New YOU. The YOU with unique gifts, talents, skills that you were created to express.
This is what most people want. especially for the new year. If you read any weekend newspaper, lifestyle blogs or self-help books. They are full of instructions on how to set achievable goals and manifest the life you want or the person you want to be. Yet New Year's Resolutions are not sustained by everyone despite how much they want this. Why is this?
In most cases, people don't know why they want what they want. Is it because others have it and its the fashion? Is it to look good on the outside, have a higher status or to be approved of and accepted? Could it be that they cannot visualise or even experience the feeling of what life would be like if they achieved their goals? They stay stuck in focusing on lack, on what they are not good at and then...
Are you aware long before you have migraines, low mood, stomach upsets, skin rashes and exhaustion, you would have felt sensations in your body for you to do something to restore your wellbeing? Did you notice churning or twisting in the gut, the sinking feeling in your stomach, the heavy ache in your chest, the jittery feeling or the lump in your throat?
Yes, your body is continually giving you messages such as you are on top of the world or burdened, disheartened, demoralised or grieving. Spend this week just being aware of your body sensations. Be curious, don’t judge or condemn yourself instead take note when it happens, what happens around you before or during the event and wherein the body you feel the sensation.
If you are shining your light but feeling anxious, dread, resentful or have low energy, then you may not feel you are sparkling. Many people accept depressed mood, low energy and lack of joy as normal. You don't have to. First, remember...